Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
