you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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