if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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