some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she peed on how many people?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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