Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
