So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
