i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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