:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
