I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
