My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
