P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
