i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
