is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
