pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize