I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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