i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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