he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
