My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
