shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
