Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I am one with the molecules
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
