Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
