Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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