I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
