imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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