it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
