There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize