what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
