Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
