he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
