Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
