Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
