you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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