What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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