Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize