i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
