Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
