I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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