Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize