I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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