yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize