Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
