I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
