well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
