Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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