he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
