Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My boob is missing a layer of skin
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
