oh god the rape fog is back!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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