So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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