Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
