Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
