I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
