I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
