So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
