drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
