i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
