therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
