today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
