Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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