Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
