One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancรฉ called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ๐๐#pensacolaproblems
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those ๐
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