i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
