guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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