im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
