You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
