new low.... made out with someone while peeing
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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