Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
