Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
