Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
