when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
