Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she peed on how many people?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
