People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He better not be in your backpack
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
