You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
