So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
