she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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