That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
