I'm really into asian looking animals
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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