is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
tell me about the fingering
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