Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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